In A Place I Hope No One Will Ever Find

ANAGAPESIS

Should I be worried now that I don't feel anything 
after that conversation with you?
Should I be glad that my heart will now stop longing for you? 
Or should I be mad because up to this very moment, 
I still think of why things didn't worked out for us 
by the time I  was still inlove with you.


I used to give malice on every smile and advices you gave me. 
Like a big brother who gives assurance to his little sister.
I used to fall all over again everytime you shove my hair.
I hate it as much as I want it because it makes me feel secured and protected by you.
I used to deprived myself to talk to you first. 
Because everytime I did, 
it was always me who wanted to keep the conversation.

I used to like everything about you. 
Everything.
I used to guard myself from all the guys who laid down their intentions. 
But you were the only exception - though you did not laid yours.
I used to imagine my future with you. 
Worshiping God with you.
I used to think that the love I had for you was an Agape love. 
That regardless of your response, 
I know I will still love you.


I prayed for you.
God knows how much I asked you from Him.
That He may prepare us to complement each other by His grace.


But things went a little bit different now.
Everything that I used to, now becomes I wish I still do. 


IN ALL THINGS,
GOD SHOULD ALWAYS BE GLORIFIED