What do you think you're doing here???

RANDOM FARTS:
Surrendered Isaac

Finally I was able to be honest, share and breathe out everything I felt all these years to someone I feel in debt to. Still got a lot of unsaid thoughts, but I think everything is enough. Felt a real relief after that. Thank you for the opportunity, Jesus. 

Let's have a good life, friend!


IN ALL THINGS, 
GOD SHOULD ALWAYS BE GLORIFIED!

TO MY 1 CORINTHIANS 13

I don't know what got into me again why I'm writing something about love. So let me address this blog to my God's Best. Maybe the reason is because I watched a video compilations of grooms' reaction the first time they saw their bride on their wedding. 


 I'm 24 now and I still haven't met you yet. I'm not in a rush tho, I still have a lot of goals for my family and myself that I want to accomplish with myself and God.  I just want you to know that I am consistently praying for you! I always tell my friends that I want you to be a pastor. And if it is God's desire for you to be a shepered of men, it'll be extra special. Although I myself know that I don't deserve to be a pastor's wife. I always imagine if you're discipling people now or you're still in the getting to know stage with the Lord. But either way, I pray that I may be a good helper to your walk with the Lord someday.

Whenever something happened to me or I discovered new about the Lord, I always thought of you. I want to share to you how God worked in my life day by day. But I still have to wait for the day that God will make so we can share stories about His works in our lives. But don't worry, you won't miss something in my life because I regularly write letters for you. 

I can't wait for you to meet the special people in my life - my parents, my siblings, my dgroup sisters and most specially Amithi! Sometimes I randomly thought of having a happy date with you and her. We will spoill her and will get scold by my brother and Ate Maeh for giving her things that are not necessary. All my life I have dreamed of this but I could not see your face. I even have plans on how to say yes to you 😊

We will make our own version of Joy and Edric Mendoza, Feliz and JayJay Lucas, Rica and Joseph Bonifacio, and Ate Tina and Kuya Eric. These are some of the people that inspires me with their godly relationships. 

I pray that you will come from a family of believers of Christ. Because you know what scares me? Is that they may misinterpret or judge me that I converted you to other religion when Jesus never even created a religion. But if not, still okay because what will matter is our personal walk with God. We will both show our families how God loves them and so they may know Jesus Christ in a deeper way. Praying that someday, we'll worship the King of kings both with our families. And please don't worry about asking my parents' blessing and approval, worry about my Discipler... she has a very high standards when it comes to christian men. Lol. 

I wouldn't care if you'll be gwapo or not. All I care is your fats!hahaha. I like chubby guys so please don't skip meals! I could not get any fats for myself no matter how much foods (including junks) I intake. But I still hope you're gwapo but not a head-turner gwapo type. A gwapo who doesn't know how gwapo he is type of guy 😍

I know that the love that I will give to you in the future is the overflowing love that I received from God. I can only love and submit to you selflessly because I am loved by the Lord unconditionally.

I met other guys and they laid their intentions but they either fail to impress me nor they just confused my feeling *flips hair.haha!*. And if my feelings for someone confuses me, then I know he's not you. Because God is not the author of confusion, everything that comes from Him gives us peace and assurance in our hearts. 

My friends often told me to give my self a try. Entertain and have a relationship with guys. But don't worry I will never listen to them. By the grace of God, I promise to keep my standards high so I can be a woman you could be proud of someday (mejo low nga lang sa looks!hahaha!). I know  you will be worth the fear and I cannot wait to give you all the love I am saving. I reserve my self and my heart for you - although naunahan ka na ni God sakin haha! Christ is already more than enough for me. But the idea of having you and worshiping God together makes it more special.

I'm already in love with you. I don't know how it became possible but I sincerly am. Maybe we met before, maybe we'll meet again or maybe we haven't met at all. When it's already God's time, He will let us find each other. When we're the right persons. 


Love, your (trying-hard-to-be) Proverbs 31

TATATI IS SAD

I wrote this post days before Amithi and Ate Maeh left for Malaysia. I happen to forget to post it because of the time my work demanded me.

Tomorrow, October 15, will be Amithi's flight to be with her Daddy for good and her Tatati is very sad.  God, I don't think I will be able to finish this blogpost without shedding a tear!  God knows how much I genuinely love my niece. You can obviously see it on my Twitter and Instagram posts (haha!) - but there's so much more love that I feel for Amithitay. 

For the past 6 months she made me praise God even more every time I look at her and added enjoyment in my boring life. I always look after to the future because of her. I even thought of cancelling my plans to work abroad because I wanted to be with her as she grows. The more she gets older day by day, the more we discover things about her and it really made the whole family happy. 

I remember last week while I drive them to the hospital for her check up she's being madaldal and she said "Tatati", I was shocked and naluha ako. I felt like she was trying to call me in a malambing tone. I almost cried that moment but I handled my tears well because I don't want to be overdramatic and Ate Maeh's with us that time. 

I am a proud Tatati to this kid! I can brag everything about her.haha! Even at her youngest age, she thought me everything about life and spiritual (and even driving gently on the road.lol). 


It really hurts me that she's leaving tomorrow. I prayed to God if He can extend their stay here in the country but I can promptly surrender to His "No". All though it really is painful, I believe it's a great opportunity to praise God in times like this. It's very easy for us to praise the Lord when we are happy and comfortable. Now I want to practice praising God in my saddest moment. It's hard, but I think God is teaching me right now that if I can't praise Him with my lame sadness, I wouldn't be able to praise Him at my darkest. What I'm feeling right now is nothing compare to what others are suffering. So I want to choose to be more mature and not wallow into sadness. Perhaps, focusing on God gives me the assurance and relief. I should love God way more than anything else. I never thought that it'll be possible, but by the grace of God, I can now feel it. Not that I'm there already, but God is helping me love Him more than my family or anything important in my life. Everyday, He reveals Himself to me.

God plants you to somewhere He will make you bloom

It was our church satellite's 9th anniversary celebration last Sunday and some of my brethren from the single's ministry committed to be an usher for the event. At first it wasn't really my plan to volunteer because I had work on a saturday night with Pentatonix's show but I wanted to support Kuya Kent, since I can feel his struggle leading the ministry. I also invited Rap to volunteer so she can also meet our other brithers and sister in the ministry and praise God she accepted. 

Our call time was at 8:30am and it was a great struggle for me to get up since I came home from work around 1am. But I had no choice, more than my commitment to our church, I bid my "YES" to God. I arrived before the first service started and was greeted by Kuya Eric and Kuya Kent a good morning! I smiled while scratching my haid saying I was sorry for being late as always - ooh my body language!haha

Everything went well, we welcomed everyone coming in with a smile and a good morning. I was really tired but more satisfied that time. Felt like I was part of everyone's reason of a good sunday vibes by greeting and smiling at them first thing in the morning. Who wouldn't be put on a good mood when someone you don't even know greeted you on the first hour of your day? That time, I appreciated the ushering ministry in our church. It wasn't easy to greet people and extend your hands to shake their hands. Specially when they pass you by as if you're just a standee smiling. And I really feel blessed whenever the ushering ministry welcomes me during sunday services. 

Though I volunteered on church events for a couple of times before, God thought me a lot that day which I can apply in my daily life. It's super nice to see people smiling at you in a genuine way. It's true that there's no small jobs in God's kingdom. Everyone's part are important. 

I also felt blessed with Pastor Nett's message and Kuya Marjun and his wife's testimony. And also the cuties from Next Gen ministry's presentation!!! While watching them, I imagined Amithi singing for Jesus on during sundays when she gets a bit older. And that thought moved me and made my eyes teary. One of my auntie goals actually is to teach Amithi to sing for Jesus and mold her to trust her life to Him even at her young age. I know it'll be a bit hard to teach children to love Jesus because they don't even see Him. But I know Jesus has His ways to connect to children personally. So I'm reading blogs about christian moms and how they mold their children to follow Jesus at the young age. I really admire women like that. Geez, ang advance ko naman ata? Haha..

After the first service, we went to our welcoming spot again to welcome people who attended the second service. Then after our duties, we went to Rob Imus to grab some lunch. But of course, picturan muna!

Serving God costs us sacrifices. My brothers and sisters in Christ thought me to serve the Lord out of my comfort. I was a long time christian but I never felt the satisfaction of serving for God's kingdom since God led me to CCF. Before, I served God for the sake of serving Him, opportunity to bond with friend or because our Pastor told me so. But it is different when God stretched you out of what you thought you can only give. People who works in their comforts tends to claim the glory, because we naturally idolize our capabilities. God works in our lives when we know we can't do such things - that's when He can show His glory to us.

So I praise the Lord for planting me to CCF and introducing me to people who wants to work for Him intentionally. I desire to bloom where God has planted me. I don't plan to go back to my old self who was a half-hearted teen in service and christian pleaser. Thank you Lord for 9 years of His fiathfulness to CCF Imus. I praise You for the lives of people who helped me and will be helping me to anchor my life to you. To God all be the honor and Glory! 


IN ALL THINGS, 
GOD SHOULD ALWAYS BE GLORIFIED!

RANDOM FARTS:

Semi-work at home

Yesterday was my first day being an office girl - though our office is only at my boss' house and I will only report there 2-3 days a week and will start at 2pm and ends at 5pm, I still can't help but grumble. Ugh! I hate the way I see and think of things.

I should be thinking of positive things. Pedro, my boss who's a year younger than me, is super kind and gracious to me since day one. He even bought me a macbook and a desktop so work would be easy for me. 

For everyone's information, I worked at home for the last 2 years. Everything was busy for me on ny first few months at Midas. It was just me and my former boss, Mel, are working for Midas Manila. And then Pedro who's a son of one of our top bosses in Asia, entered the company 3 months after I was hired. And then Mel resigned and build his own concert promotions company few months after. So Pedro took over Midas Manila and became my boss. Everything was fine under his supervision because we sold our shows to other promoters - Boyzone, Pentatonix, Youtube fanfest, MLTR and Lifehose. That means no work for me to do that made me feel worthless and unused. I'm receiving wages I didn't even worked hard for from the company. The only task assigned for me before was to post something on our social media. 

And then December of last year when Pedro decided to take charge of our own shows. So we did Russel Peters, Richard Marx and my favorite Little Mix on the first quarter of this year. During that time I was busy and felt my position in the company. I became the employee I was hired for - a multimedia artist. I did graphics, posters, billboards, TVCs, magazine, print ads and other stuffs again. 

And then we went on hiatus with shows again. Midas did Engelbert here in Manila but the company sold the show to the venue so we didn't worked for it. Now we are waiting for Pentatonix in Manila. As well as working part-time for other international shows. (PS: I am faithful with my company right now, and I asked permission to my bosses if I can work part-time, and they said yes! God gave me the best bosses in the world. Thanks Sir Nige and Peds! 😙)

As I remember, I mentioned on my previous blog that my colleague from Singapore left the company so I took one of her responsibility for the company. So far, so good. Been trying to learn and work hard for a nee assigned job for me. To be very honest, it's really hard for me to adjust since my strength is in media and digital arts. But I thank the Lord for giving me the opportunity to maximize my skills, specially on the level of communicating with other people (not to mention foreigners) which is seariooouusslllyy my weakness. 

I may complain in a lot of things right now, but one thing's I'm sure of... I'm learning and enjoying. Enjoying the challenges that will help me grow not just in profession but also in life. Deep!! Hahaha. Seriously, I'm discovering something in myself right now and I'm happy that I somehow overcome my fears and awkwardness with people. And whenever I complain, that means I'm focus and proud of what I am doing.. you know, for the sake of complaining lang! Me and my papansin self!haha


I praise God for new opportunities He's continiously blessing me. I really don't deserve the job I'm having right now, but He keeps on sustaining me. I pray that I manage my time right and won't let affect my work schedules with my spiritual walk and time with the Lord. And mostly, that God may be honored and be glorified in all the works I will do. Thank you Jesus!



IN ALL THINGS, 
GOD SHOULD ALWAYS BE GLORIFIED! 

And maybe I don't want to know the reason why

IN ALL THINGS,

GOD SHOULD ALWAYS BE GLORIFIED!